In every relationship, there’s bound to be a conflict or two… or three or four [no judgement here!]. And if you say you and your amazing boyfriend never fight, you’re a big, fat LIAR [or one of you is being as fake as Kylie Jenner’s lips]. But when the inevitable arguement occurs between you and your lover, is it best to fight or take flight?
Just in case you two-legged mamals out there are not aware of what the fight-or-flight response is, here’s a little recap for you:
It’s a physiological reaction that occurs in response to a perceived harmful event, attack, or threat to survival – like when you’re confronted with a bobcat.
- PS. Bobcats may look cute and small… or like an oversized house cat but I can promise you, they’re vicious little fuckers. Just sayin…
- PPS. I’ve never personally been confronted by a bobcat but that’s just the word on the streets…
It’s basically when that big muscle in your head, better known as THE BRAIN, reacts to danger by releasing some of your blood into your extremeities which causes us to lose the ability to think at a high operating level and we either fight, take flight and in some cases, freeze [kinda like a possum that plays dead].
Obviously, the conflict resolution success rate plummets when either of these reactions occur [or so they say]. However, if that’s how our bodies naturally react to confrontation, what the hell are we supposed to do about it?!
When it comes to my relationship, I’ll be the first to admit I grow a pair of wings and fly the hell out of dodge. Now when I was a young whipersnapper, I would always put on the boxing gloves and go to town [figuratively speaking, that is]. But in my old, wiser years, I’ve learned that fighting just doesn’t work. When does a resolution ever happen? Only when one of you gives up… or falls asleep.
When you take flight, however, it allows you an oppurtunity to physically remove yourself from the situation, clear your head and think rationally [yes, woman are capable of this ya big jerk]. Ask yourself a few questions:
Why am I even mad?
Am I overreacting?
Shit…Did I pay my cable bill today?
Damn, my nails look ratchet. I really should have gotten a mani yesterday.
Is it really that big of a deal that he left his shoes by the door for the millionth time this week?
I find if you force the situation and don’t allow yourself time to cool down and take a deep breath, couples just keep fighting but never even know why they’re fighting in the first place [I DON’T KNOW WHAT WE’RE YELLING ABOUT!! LOUD NOISES!!].
So go ahead and take a quick little flight but don’t stray for too long… Take a nap, a walk or mindlessly browse facebook for a little while until you cool down. Let the storm blow over and maybe a rainbow will appear… or just have makeup sex [whatever works best for you!].
Ciao for now!