Friends with Benefits.

FWB

 

 

Friends with benefits. Fuck buddy. Benefit buddy. Whatever you want to call it. In the end, it all means the same thing. Its two friends who like to casually bone without commitment or feelings. I’ve had my fair share of experiences with the whole FWB situation. Some good, some bad, and some where I’ve definitely questioned my life decisions afterwards!

It’s a sticky situation [literally and figuratively.TMI? Get over it.] and it’s not made for everyone. So before you enter into the FWB zone, ask yourself a few questions:

  1. Do you have feelings for your possible FWB? If yes, stop while you’re ahead!! Do not go past go! I’m warning you…. It won’t end well if you have feelings [especially if he doesn’t feel the same]. If no, please continue.
  2. Does your FWB have feelings for you and you don’t have feelings for him? If yes, stop. You don’t want to break to break any hearts [or maybe you do… if so, go for it girl!]
  3. Are you comfortable with your FWB sleeping with other people? No? Pump the breaks sister.
  4. Are you okay with being a booty call? No? Friends with benefits is not for you.
  5. Would you be upset if he doesn’t call the day after you hook up [or the next day or the next day]? Yes? Sorry. Go find a boyfriend.

If you’re okay with any of these things, go for it! FWB can be a lot of fun [depending on your partner]. Just don’t be weird when you see them out at the bar talking to the opposite sex. They will most likely end up in your bed later and that’s the main goal anyways, right? Right.  Just because you’ve  danced the horizontal tango together before does not mean you have any claim on each other. You’re both allowed to talk, flirt with, eye fuck [or do the nasty with] other people [consider it part of foreplay!]. Relax. As long as you’re not a starfish in the sack, I’m sure homeboy will be right beside you in the cab when the bars close. And if not, so what? That’s the beauty of  friends with benefits. Just be confident in yourself [and your sexual abilities]. Confidence is sexy! Also, just a word of advice, don’t get your panties in a bunch when your hook up buddy calls you at 2:00 am asking for you to  be naked in his bed in 30 minutes. Either ignore the call and go back to sleep or throw on some Uggs, get your happy ass in a cab, and go get your rocks off. I suggest the latter [in case you were wondering]. 

What happens when you develop feelings for your fuck buddy? Well my friend, that’s something you have to figure out for yourself. I wish I could tell you there was a perfect answer to this but sadly, there isn’t [at least I haven’t come up with one]. If you’re afraid of getting hurt, run for the hills! But if not, I guess it depends on how great the sex is [and I hope it’s fantastic!].

So screw away, my friends! Don’t forget to wrap it before you tap it.

Ciao for now!

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Little Black Book

little black book ecard

Definition [according to urbandictionary.com]: Name for a man’s pocket directory of [hopefully] promiscuous women

Well, in my case, a women’s pocket directory for [some] promiscuous men. Yes, I do keep a list of men I have gone out with, slept with, and whatever else is in between those two things. As a self-proclaimed bachelorette, I take pride in knowing the name of every man [or in some cases, boy] I have gone out with. Pathetic? Maybe. Do I care? Nope.

Let’s take a stroll down memory lane, shall we? Names may or may not be changed to protect the innocent. [These are not listed in any particular order or preference]

1. We will call him ‘Captain’.

Wait… scratch that. I’m not going to bore you with all the minor details of all my dates. Let’s just say that I have gone out with, dated, and slept with [sorry mom] all different types of men. Military men, cops, a bald guy [or 2], an accountant, and one guy that lied about his age [it will haunt me for the rest of my life!].

Why do I keep a list, you ask? Well… why not? It makes for an interesting story. Maybe down the line somewhere I can see where I went wrong or at least get a really good laugh out of it. Some of the guys were fantastic, like Captain I almost told you about. But others were total duds. For example:

I met homeboy at Spider Kelly’s one fine, drunken Friday evening. He was cute… looking back on it, I think that was the vodka speaking but whatever. He was tall [if you know me, you know this is a big deal], and he said he drove a nice car and had a motorcycle [another panty dropper for me]. He filled my head with all the things a girl drinking vodka wants to hear. I’m going to take you out and show you a great time! I’ll take you for a ride on my motorcycle! Blah blah blah. I totally ate it up, too. Why? Because I’m a girl. Long story short. I did not get a motorcycle ride [he had sold his bike] and he definitely didn’t take me out for a good time [he did have a nice car though… bummer]. He offered me LEFTOVERS for dinner. Yes, leftovers. You read that correctly. I was appalled. I mean, really?! Don’t get me wrong, I love some good leftovers but NOT, I repeat, NOT on a first date [or third or fourth or fifth or sixth]. The only person I will accept leftovers from is my mother. Eventually we made it to the bar…. Along with two of his friends. Cool. Homeboy was texting another girl the entire time, flirting with the bar tender, and overall just being a jackass. I ended up leaving him at the bar. And by leaving, I mean I RAN! Literally. I was like Forest Gump.

When you’re done laughing I will continue…. Done? Okay, good. The point is, I find it humorous to look back on my list of romantic encounters [or lack thereof], dating experiences, and sexual escapades. I’ve had friends ask me why on earth would I want a record of that?! They look at me like I have three heads. Aren’t I worried someone would find the list?! If you find it, all the more power to you. Congratulations. You get a gold star! No, I’m not worried, and no, I do not have three heads. One day when I’m old and not gray [because I’ll be that old lady with a bad dye job], I’m going to look back at this time of my life and laugh. Because right now I’m a 20-something who has nothing to lose and everything to gain. Life is all about creating memories and I just happen to write mine down.

Ciao for now!

What Would James Bond Do?

james bond

What would James Bond do? That is the real question.

I recently went on a first date with a fella who lives his life by the motto WWJBD. At first I was a little confused… but intrigued. This confusion quickly turned into admiration. Here’s why ladies… [and gents].

Said fella picked a time and place for us to meet for our first date. Now, I know that seems so typical but let me tell you, it’s not. I have had a slew of first dates where the guy won’t make plans and leaves it all up to me. Big turn off. So this guy already earned a few brownie points in my book. Not only did he pick a place to meet, but he wanted to pick a place that was convenient for me, not for him. Such a sweet gesture, but naturally, I wanted to head into the city which he was perfectly fine with.

Fifteen minutes before out set meeting time, he let me know he was already there. I panicked… why? Well, that’s because that’s what I do. But he reassured me, that he got there early to make sure our table was ready, etc. He also asked what my favorite drink was. Wine, obviously.

I showed up [on time] and said fella pulled my chair out for me. Seriously. I don’t think a guy has ever done that for me. Not only that, but he had the waitress bring my a glass of my favorite wine as soon as I sat down… hence why he asked what my favorite drink was. No, I was not worried about rufies since the drink came straight from the waitress [in case YOU were worried].

Anyways… long story kinda short. This guy was a total gent. It was absolutely refreshing after all the bad/boring/sloppy/annoying dates I’ve had recently. I have to admit, I was absolutely dreading this date and was sooo close to cancelling. Luckily for me, my girlfriend convinced me to go because really, there was nothing to lose. I’m so happy that I went. Even if nothing comes from this date, it is nice to know that there are some gentleman out there. This one guy has restored [part] of my faith in men and love.

Okay, back to WWJBD. Said fella told me that he lives his life with that motto and that he believes every man should, as well. What would James Bond do? Well, he would definitely pull his date’s chair out for her, always pay for the date, and treat a lady like she deserves to be treated. Yes. Yes. And yes! JB would also be well dressed [don’t even get me started on my past dates’ wardrobe choices… ugh], well mannered, well versed, and be knowledgeable about current events.

This guy met all of these attributes. I was blown away. Like I said… I’ve had one too many disappointing dates so it wasn’t hard to impress me, but honestly, this guy was fantastic! He complimented me on my looks, even went as far as saying I looked better in person than in my pictures. Compliments can be overdone and can seem fake but he didn’t over do it which made me feel good. Not that I was feeling bad about myself… actually quite the opposite but it’s always a confidence booster when an attractive member of the opposite sex finds you attractive. Right? Right!

So to James Bond, thank you for being a role model to a handful of men out there. I know I will not be the last lady to appreciate this. To all the men out there, maybe this can be a lesson to you all. Be a gentleman. Be classy. Be respectful. Ladies love that.

Ciao for now!

Bachelor Inspired

bachelor

As I’m sitting here on my couch in my PJ’s with a glass of wine while watching The Bachelor by candle light [sounds so romantic!], I decided that now’s the time to start a blog.  I mean… why not? Right? I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. So thank you Juan Pablo. Not only do I appreciate how good looking you are [am I right ladies or am I right?!] but your quest for love has inspired me to document my own quest for love and the roller coaster ride that is my life.

This roller coaster consists of a lot of laughs, maybe a few tears, wine, good friends, good dates, some bad dates, but definitely unforgettable memories!

My lovely roommate just joined me with some fresh popped popcorn so ciao for now!