- You are my better half and I feel like part of me is missing when we argue [so you better not start with me!]
- I will never let you leave the house looking like a hot mess [unless we’re both hungover from the night before].
- Thank you for listening to my cry over that boy [oh, and that other boy, too].
- I promise to never steal the covers when we have a sleepover [but I can’t promise I won’t accidently push you out of bed]
- Thank you for not letting me make a mistake with a rebound because I was heartbroken [what was I thinking?!].
- I promise to always hold your hair back when you’ve had too much to drink.
- I promise to always be your professional text message analyzer. Thank goodness for screenshots! [No…. only three exclamation points!!! OMG did she really just say that?]
- Thank you for always holding my hair back when I can’t seem to get my shit together.
- Thank you for not judging me when I get white girl wasted.
- Thank you for always taking my earrings out.
- Even if I’ve never met her, I will come up with reasons why the girl you don’t like it just the worst.
- I secretly enjoy every time you text me pictures of your outfits to get my stamp of approval.
- I promise to always tell you when they’re ugly.
- I will always dance the night away with you until we can no longer wear our heals [and then I promise to walk around bare foot with you].
- I promise to always provide booze and tissues when a boy breaks your heart.
- You’re going to be my bridesmaid [if I ever take that plunge] and I better be yours [but only if you-know-who is my date… obviously]
- I will always like every Facebook or Instagram post of yours. [Do I understand it? Does that really even matter?]
- I will always bail you out of jail [but let’s be honest… I’ll probably be in jail with you].
- I promise to boycott City Dogs until the end of time [or until you decide you don’t want to anymore].
- I promise to rescue you from awkward situations.
- Whenever you feel like crying, call me. I can’t promise to make you laugh [I will try my hardest] but I’ll always cry with you.
- I promise to always dance to ‘Single Ladies’ with you even when we’re married with kids [our hubbies will just have to deal with it]
- I promise to stand guard when you feel like peeing in a parking garage.
- I promise to always tell you the truth, nothing but the truth, so help me God.
- You’re my sister from another mister, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
- I promise to laugh at every one of your jokes, even when no one else gets it.
- Thank you for always understanding me, even when I don’t understand myself sometimes.
- Thank you for putting up with me when I’m being difficult [and let’s be real… it’s not always easy]
- I promise not to always agree with you but to tell you what you need to hear, regardless if you want to hear it or not.
- I will always be your best friend. For better or worse. You’re stuck with me. Pinky promise.
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