Girl, you crazy

crazy-girl-YouTubeAfter having a much needed girl date with one of my gal pals the other night, I finally realized why men think woman are crazy. BECAUSE WE ARE. Granted, some more than others, but we all have a little crazy buried deep down inside of our psyches. Relax… [take a sip of wine] I’m not saying we are certified crazy and need to be committed to a mental institution, capiche? Just hear me out…

I just noticed that when girls get together and start analyzing their relationships with men, things always go down hill and more wine is consumed than originally planned. But WHY?! Because we were born with two X chromosomes, that’s why!

Typically the conversation always begins with ‘how are things going with [insert-recent-hook-up’s-name-here]?‘ or ‘OMG! Do you remember that guy from way back when that I totally went out with?‘. This is when things go from good… to crazy. In our minds, before we discuss anything with our girls, we have a pretty good grasp on our current situation with whomever is lucky enough to be talking to, hooking up with, or dating us. But once our lovely gal pals start asking us questions like ‘where do you see this going?’ or ‘do you have feelings for him?’, we start to second guess ourselves. Then we start to over-analyze the situation. Woman are SO good at over analyzing simple situations! One second we’ve accepted the fact [and are perfectly satisfied] with the fact that the dude we’ve been texting is strictly a FWB, and the next second we are depressed and crying into our wine glass because we want a relationship with him [insert eye roll here].  The more we discuss it, the worse it gets and then someone ends up subscribing to match.com because we don’t want to die alone with a million cats.

Ladies, listen up. We are all guilty of this. No if’s, and’s, or but’s about it. At some point in our life, we’ve ALL over analyzed a situation that was clearly black and white. I know I’m guilty of it but you know what? I’m a girl. Over analyzing is built into my DNA [thanks a lot, genetics]. Woman are emotional little creatures. We can’t help it! Some woman are just better than others at hiding the crazy and acting like a lady.

That being said… after you and your girlfriends have talked in circles about something that clearly is out of your control, pull yourself together, put on some lipstick, and move on with your day. The likelihood of you dying alone and having a million cats is very slim [unless that’s your goal in life]. I’m a firm believer in things happen for a reason and what’s meant to be, will be [so cliché, I know]. If you’re satisfied with whatever situation you have going on with said FWB [or whatever you consider him to be], don’t let your girlfriends convince you otherwise. Granted, girlfriends are there to back you up and make sure you don’t get hurt, but stay true to yourself. Do whatever your little heart desires!

Fellas… I apologize for the fact that us women can get a little nuts sometimes and our emotions can sometimes get out of control. Just blame the fact that we weren’t born with a Y chromosome. Be accepting and remember ‘this too shall pass’.

Ciao for now!

 

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Movie Dates

movie-dateWhat is it with movie dates? Are we still in middle school? Sure, going to the movies with the cutie from math class was great when you were 14 and your parents dropped you off in their sweet minivan. My very first date was a movie date with my middle school boyfriend, Joel [hi!] and I’m pretty sure his dad sat a few rows in front of us [talk about romantic!]. At the time, it was the most exciting thing EVER! OMG… the cutest boy in the school wants to sit next to me for an extended period of time without talking?! Winning! I couldn’t even tell you what movie we saw because I was so nervous, I couldn’t think straight.

Once you’ve gone through puberty, however, movie dates are great if you’re with your girlfriends or if you’re in a well established relationship. The last thing I really want to do is sit in the dark with some stranger I barely know who keeps trying to hold my hand [thanks, but I think I’ll pass]. Don’t get me wrong, hand holding can be kind of sweet and innocent [unless you have sweaty palms] which can be a nice change from homeboy trying to get to home base within the first five minutes [Strike! You’re outta here!]. And what’s with guys putting their arm around a girl? Unless you’re significantly taller than I am, it’s quite uncomfortable and I know what you’re up to. Either you’re trying to cop a feel [not gonna happen] or trying to be suave and kiss me [also not gonna happen unless we’re 14 and making out in the back row]. But the only type of kiss you’re going to get is a Hershey kiss from the snack counter [sorry, bud].

Maybe I’m just hard to please [shocker!] but isn’t the point of going on dates to get to know each other? The only thing I get to know about you on a movie date is how much of a mouth breather you are [no bueno]. Personally, the only time a movie date is acceptable early on in the dating game, is when it’s a pity date. Harsh, I know, but I guarantee I’m not the only girl that’s done that. The plus side of a pity movie date is you don’t really have to talk at all [let alone look at each other] and it most likely made Joe-Schmoe’s day that much better [consider it a random act of kindness]. Hopefully the movie is entertaining enough where you can ignore the loud mouth breathing or the smell of stale popcorn.

What does a girl have to do to find a man who wants to have a fun date around here? Jeez!

Ciao for now!