Stop looking, start living

images I know I’ve written about the rules of dating and things you should or shouldn’t do to be successful in love but you know what? It’s all BS.

Sometimes there comes a point in time where you just need to take a step back and reevaluate everything. I think I’ve reached that point recently and I’ve found that I’ve needed to remind myself of a few things…

Stop over analyzing things. Just go with the flow. Whats meant to be, will be. Stop worrying about where life is headed, just enjoy the moment you’re in. Stop looking and start living. Enjoy the little things in life and stop worrying about the things that don’t matter. Be yourself and love who you are. If you love yourself, others will love you back. Don’t try to mold yourself into something you’re not just because you may think that’s what others want.

Love your life and the people in it. If you’re not happy, make a change. Take a leap of faith. You don’t like where you live? Move. Hate your job? Quit. If you find that the people in your life are holding you back or aren’t conducive to what you need, trim the fat. Do what makes you happy. Who cares if other’s don’t approve? This is your life – not theirs.

Take a moment to look up from your phone and actually enjoy your surroundings. Talk to people . Smile at the stranger sitting across from you on the metro. Don’t be afraid to do things alone (there’s something extremely satisfying about riding solo sometimes). Don’t take the little things for granted.

Life is too short to worry so much. Take a second to think about all the wonderful things and people in your life and stop focusing on the not-so-ideal things.

Is there a secret to being happy? No. Just do it. Sure, it’s much easier said than done on occasion. Accept the fact that there will be good days and there will be bad days – that’s part of life. Have a positive outlook. A wise friend keeps reminding me that positive thoughts attract positive actions and she is right. Life is all about what you make of it. 

 Just a little food for thought… Ciao for now!

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Rules of Dating

imagesAs most of you know, I’m a single gal who has dabbled in the dating world over the past few years. My first date experiences have ranged from something out of a movie, mediocre, to a complete disaster… but there’s always a good story to tell my friends afterwards. I have definitely learned a few things, the do’s and don’ts, if you will, of dating. Please do not take my suggestions as being the answer to all your problems [I’m not a damn magician] but hey, stranger things have happened.

Rule #1. Get enough sleep because dating EXHAUSTING. Not only do you have to worry about whether your hair looks good or your makeup isn’t running off your face [this heat and humidity is going to be the death of me], but you also have to worry about whether the stud muffin you’re meeting at the bar is going to like you [and if you say you don’t care what other people think, you’re a big, fat liar] or not. I bet dating would be so much easier if I were Beyoncé because, let’s be real here, who the eff doesn’t like Beyoncé [and if you don’t, GTFO!]. Her hair and makeup always look fabulous regardless of the temperature outside… Why was I not born as Beyoncé [thanks a lot, mom!]?!

Ok, I’m done feeling sorry for myself for the time being… Where was I?

I never used to get nervous about first dates. Never ever ever.  A few years ago, I was totally blasé [I sound so fancy!] about first dates… just about to meet with a prospective soul-mate, no big deal. No pressure whatsoever. But now? OH MY GOD. You would think the world was coming to an end [I’m not dramatic at all… obviously]. I run around like a chicken with it’s head cut off. WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR? I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR [as my closet door won’t even close because the mass quantities of fabric spilling out of it]! Oh, and don’t let me forget to mention that one time I left all my makeup at the office… and didn’t realize it until after I had rid my face of my day-time war paint [always want a fresh face, you know!]. Talk about a crisis… thank goodness there is a CVS on every corner. By the time I was dressed and had purchased new make-up [which I applied in my car five minutes after I was supposed to meet him], I was ready for a nap. I literally felt like I had just ran a half-marathon [not a full one because that’s just unrealistic]. So as I said, be well rested. You don’t want to be falling asleep in your beer.

Rule #2. Pick a meeting spot that is easily accessible, in public, and won’t be so congested you can’t even hear yourself think. Generally, picking a bar that is so loud you can’t hear your own thoughts isn’t a good idea since you’re supposed to converse with the babe sitting across from you [unless just staring at each other is your cup of tea]. Of course there are other meeting spots besides a casual bar but I definitely suggest you avoid meeting in movie theaters, deserted parking lots, cemeteries, or your mother’s house.

Rule #3. Engage each other in conversation. Don’t just talk about yourself. I’m sure your life is absolutely fascinating but so is mine. Ask questions, discover what you have in common [if anything], get to know each other.  I’d rather talk to a cat all night than listen to you brag about your awesome life and I don’t even like cats.

Rule #4. Do not, under any circumstances, talk about your ex. This should be self-explanatory.

Rule #5. Limit your phone use. Back in the day, I would say don’t even take your phone out but nowadays, I don’t think that’s realistic [I mean, how else am I supposed to Google the answers to the trivia questions?]. That being said, texting and phone calls are 100% off limits. Oh, I’m sorry… am I boring you? Yes, please, text your friend because it must be soooo important. I’m going home now!

But what about the ‘rules’ I haven’t figured out yet? For example, do you kiss on the first date? If he doesn’t kiss you, does that mean he wasn’t digging you? Should you text your date immediately after you leave to let them know you had an awesome time? Do you wait 24 hours? What if they don’t text you at all? Is that a bad sign [I thought it went so well!]? That what-if’s are exhausting… and now I need another nap.

Ciao for now!

 

What’s the rush?

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Wedding season is stronger than ever right now and I can’t help but think…. what’s the rush?

I’m surrounded by twenty-somethings tying the knot… I’m sure you’re thinking “here we go again…. she’s preaching about how being single is soooo awesome”… wrong!  Good try though…. but even if you are thinking that, it most likely means you’ve been reading my blog so high five, my friend! Keep on making good life decisions!

But seriously, what’s the rush? Aren’t our twentys the time in life to be carefree? Sure, the majority of us have big kid jobs, pay bills, have responsibilities [you know, all that boring adult stuff] but does that mean we have to have a ring on our finger too? Or [dare I mention] start having little mini-me’s? Some days it’s hard enough taking care of myself and keeping all my own ducks in a row… I can’t even imagine having a husband [or a child] to worry about as well!

Maybe it’s just me but the only thing I can commit to at this point in my life is a gel manicure that lasts about two weeks [and sometimes that even makes me panic] but the idea of being married at the ripe old age of 25 makes my stomach churn just a tad. Please do not confuse my strong negative reaction towards marriage as the same reaction towards relationships. Quite the contrary. If you find another human being that you genuinely want to spend the majority of your time with, who just happens to give you butterflies, go for it! Being in love or dating someone new is so exciting… but yet again… do you really need a ring on your finger to enjoy that?

Stop and smell the roses [unless you’re allergic], take the scenic route, take a pit stop… do whatever. We have the rest of our lives to settle down.

Go travel the world, do something adventurous, live a little. I can’t even tell you how many couples I know who got married straight out of college or soon thereafter who are either completely miserable or already divorced. Take the time to grow and mature before taking such a huge step towards forever. Didn’t your mother always tell you good things come to those who wait? If you’re in a relationship now and you’re feeling pressure from friends or family on taking the next step with your beau, tell them to kick rocks. Enjoy your twentys, whether you’re in a relationship or not. Be young and wild and free!

Ciao for now!