Girl, you crazy

crazy-girl-YouTubeAfter having a much needed girl date with one of my gal pals the other night, I finally realized why men think woman are crazy. BECAUSE WE ARE. Granted, some more than others, but we all have a little crazy buried deep down inside of our psyches. Relax… [take a sip of wine] I’m not saying we are certified crazy and need to be committed to a mental institution, capiche? Just hear me out…

I just noticed that when girls get together and start analyzing their relationships with men, things always go down hill and more wine is consumed than originally planned. But WHY?! Because we were born with two X chromosomes, that’s why!

Typically the conversation always begins with ‘how are things going with [insert-recent-hook-up’s-name-here]?‘ or ‘OMG! Do you remember that guy from way back when that I totally went out with?‘. This is when things go from good… to crazy. In our minds, before we discuss anything with our girls, we have a pretty good grasp on our current situation with whomever is lucky enough to be talking to, hooking up with, or dating us. But once our lovely gal pals start asking us questions like ‘where do you see this going?’ or ‘do you have feelings for him?’, we start to second guess ourselves. Then we start to over-analyze the situation. Woman are SO good at over analyzing simple situations! One second we’ve accepted the fact [and are perfectly satisfied] with the fact that the dude we’ve been texting is strictly a FWB, and the next second we are depressed and crying into our wine glass because we want a relationship with him [insert eye roll here].  The more we discuss it, the worse it gets and then someone ends up subscribing to match.com because we don’t want to die alone with a million cats.

Ladies, listen up. We are all guilty of this. No if’s, and’s, or but’s about it. At some point in our life, we’ve ALL over analyzed a situation that was clearly black and white. I know I’m guilty of it but you know what? I’m a girl. Over analyzing is built into my DNA [thanks a lot, genetics]. Woman are emotional little creatures. We can’t help it! Some woman are just better than others at hiding the crazy and acting like a lady.

That being said… after you and your girlfriends have talked in circles about something that clearly is out of your control, pull yourself together, put on some lipstick, and move on with your day. The likelihood of you dying alone and having a million cats is very slim [unless that’s your goal in life]. I’m a firm believer in things happen for a reason and what’s meant to be, will be [so cliché, I know]. If you’re satisfied with whatever situation you have going on with said FWB [or whatever you consider him to be], don’t let your girlfriends convince you otherwise. Granted, girlfriends are there to back you up and make sure you don’t get hurt, but stay true to yourself. Do whatever your little heart desires!

Fellas… I apologize for the fact that us women can get a little nuts sometimes and our emotions can sometimes get out of control. Just blame the fact that we weren’t born with a Y chromosome. Be accepting and remember ‘this too shall pass’.

Ciao for now!

 

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Friends with Benefits.

FWB

 

 

Friends with benefits. Fuck buddy. Benefit buddy. Whatever you want to call it. In the end, it all means the same thing. Its two friends who like to casually bone without commitment or feelings. I’ve had my fair share of experiences with the whole FWB situation. Some good, some bad, and some where I’ve definitely questioned my life decisions afterwards!

It’s a sticky situation [literally and figuratively.TMI? Get over it.] and it’s not made for everyone. So before you enter into the FWB zone, ask yourself a few questions:

  1. Do you have feelings for your possible FWB? If yes, stop while you’re ahead!! Do not go past go! I’m warning you…. It won’t end well if you have feelings [especially if he doesn’t feel the same]. If no, please continue.
  2. Does your FWB have feelings for you and you don’t have feelings for him? If yes, stop. You don’t want to break to break any hearts [or maybe you do… if so, go for it girl!]
  3. Are you comfortable with your FWB sleeping with other people? No? Pump the breaks sister.
  4. Are you okay with being a booty call? No? Friends with benefits is not for you.
  5. Would you be upset if he doesn’t call the day after you hook up [or the next day or the next day]? Yes? Sorry. Go find a boyfriend.

If you’re okay with any of these things, go for it! FWB can be a lot of fun [depending on your partner]. Just don’t be weird when you see them out at the bar talking to the opposite sex. They will most likely end up in your bed later and that’s the main goal anyways, right? Right.  Just because you’ve  danced the horizontal tango together before does not mean you have any claim on each other. You’re both allowed to talk, flirt with, eye fuck [or do the nasty with] other people [consider it part of foreplay!]. Relax. As long as you’re not a starfish in the sack, I’m sure homeboy will be right beside you in the cab when the bars close. And if not, so what? That’s the beauty of  friends with benefits. Just be confident in yourself [and your sexual abilities]. Confidence is sexy! Also, just a word of advice, don’t get your panties in a bunch when your hook up buddy calls you at 2:00 am asking for you to  be naked in his bed in 30 minutes. Either ignore the call and go back to sleep or throw on some Uggs, get your happy ass in a cab, and go get your rocks off. I suggest the latter [in case you were wondering]. 

What happens when you develop feelings for your fuck buddy? Well my friend, that’s something you have to figure out for yourself. I wish I could tell you there was a perfect answer to this but sadly, there isn’t [at least I haven’t come up with one]. If you’re afraid of getting hurt, run for the hills! But if not, I guess it depends on how great the sex is [and I hope it’s fantastic!].

So screw away, my friends! Don’t forget to wrap it before you tap it.

Ciao for now!