BFB: Best Friend’s Brother

bro

Picture this: you’ve met the perfect an awesome guy [no one’s perfect…right?]. Funny? Check. Cute? Check. Tall? Check! Oh, but there’s a catch. He’s your friend’s brother. Can you say awkward?!

I know I’m not the first girl to run into this problem [however I may be one of the few to admit it]. It’s not a mystery as to why this would happen either. I obviously enjoy spending time with my friend, think he’s funny, etc. and his brother is [almost] the same person, just in a different body. Disclaimer: I do not have a secret crush on my friend because that would be super weird and uncomfortable. I just want to clear that up. So now what? Well… it’s a sticky situation.

I have always lived by the rule that friends’ family members are 100% off limits! No if’s, and’s, or but’s about it. Luckily for me, I’ve never even been remotely attracted to my friends’ siblings  so no one has ever made me challenge that rule… until now. I swear 2014 has thrown me so many curveballs already it’s ridiculous!

Always remember before you enter into the danger zone, that there is always  the risk of this “relationship” ruining your friendship. Is it worth it? Probably not. Will your friend care? Possibly. Even if they seem not to care, it can still be tricky. I suggest you subtly feel your friend out to get an idea of how much he or she will freak when they learn you may want to bone [or engage in some heavy petting with] their brother before you actually bump uglies with him. Or you could be like me and drunkenly admit it out loud… in front of everyone… during brunch after a few mimosas… after the deed has already been done [oops… sorry, J!] Secrets, secrets are no fun unless they’re shared with everyone! …Right?

Now  I’m not usually one to kiss and tell but the guilt was like a 100 pound dumbbell hanging from my conscious, just dragging me down slowly. Ok, so that may not seem like a lot of weight to you [if you’re a buff muscle machine] but I prefer to limit the weight on my conscious to 25 lbs dumbbells. At the time it seemed easier just to spill the beans right then… [kinda like ripping off a band aid… all in one foul swoop]. Maybe it was the DELICIOUS mimosas but luckily my friend just laughed it off [I hope you high fived your bro later because obviously I’m such a great catch! Haha].

Will it happen again? Ehh… I don’t like to limit myself and I really don’t like making promises I can’t keep so I’ll plead the fifth on that one. But for all of you boot-knockin-son-of-a-guns that want to keep your little love fest afloat, there are a few main things to keep in mind. Always make time for your friend without their sibling/your new love toy. You never want either one of them to feel like the third wheel [because it sucks!]. In a perfect world, all three of you could be inseparable and no one would feel left out but the likliehood of that happening is slim to none [not being pessimistic, just being realistic]. Be aware of the amount of PDA going on. If you’re not a fan of PDA to begin with then this won’t be a problem. But if you’re like me, a little [and I mean very little] PDA never hurt anyone. That being said, no one enjoys being a witness to two people playing tonsil hockey [unless you get off to that…no judgement here!]. Never go to your friend about your relationship issues you may have with their sibling. Blood is thicker than water so that is just asking for trouble.

And then the GOLDEN RULE: If things don’t work out between you and your main squeeze and you go your separate ways, don’t let that ruin your friendship with your pal. Chicks before dicks, bros before hoes! Okay, you get the picture. From my experience, no one is worth losing a friend over. Capiche?

So think about the consequences before you give into temptation… unless you’re like me and live in the moment. Either way, it’s bound to be an interesting ride!

Ciao for now!

Little Black Book

little black book ecard

Definition [according to urbandictionary.com]: Name for a man’s pocket directory of [hopefully] promiscuous women

Well, in my case, a women’s pocket directory for [some] promiscuous men. Yes, I do keep a list of men I have gone out with, slept with, and whatever else is in between those two things. As a self-proclaimed bachelorette, I take pride in knowing the name of every man [or in some cases, boy] I have gone out with. Pathetic? Maybe. Do I care? Nope.

Let’s take a stroll down memory lane, shall we? Names may or may not be changed to protect the innocent. [These are not listed in any particular order or preference]

1. We will call him ‘Captain’.

Wait… scratch that. I’m not going to bore you with all the minor details of all my dates. Let’s just say that I have gone out with, dated, and slept with [sorry mom] all different types of men. Military men, cops, a bald guy [or 2], an accountant, and one guy that lied about his age [it will haunt me for the rest of my life!].

Why do I keep a list, you ask? Well… why not? It makes for an interesting story. Maybe down the line somewhere I can see where I went wrong or at least get a really good laugh out of it. Some of the guys were fantastic, like Captain I almost told you about. But others were total duds. For example:

I met homeboy at Spider Kelly’s one fine, drunken Friday evening. He was cute… looking back on it, I think that was the vodka speaking but whatever. He was tall [if you know me, you know this is a big deal], and he said he drove a nice car and had a motorcycle [another panty dropper for me]. He filled my head with all the things a girl drinking vodka wants to hear. I’m going to take you out and show you a great time! I’ll take you for a ride on my motorcycle! Blah blah blah. I totally ate it up, too. Why? Because I’m a girl. Long story short. I did not get a motorcycle ride [he had sold his bike] and he definitely didn’t take me out for a good time [he did have a nice car though… bummer]. He offered me LEFTOVERS for dinner. Yes, leftovers. You read that correctly. I was appalled. I mean, really?! Don’t get me wrong, I love some good leftovers but NOT, I repeat, NOT on a first date [or third or fourth or fifth or sixth]. The only person I will accept leftovers from is my mother. Eventually we made it to the bar…. Along with two of his friends. Cool. Homeboy was texting another girl the entire time, flirting with the bar tender, and overall just being a jackass. I ended up leaving him at the bar. And by leaving, I mean I RAN! Literally. I was like Forest Gump.

When you’re done laughing I will continue…. Done? Okay, good. The point is, I find it humorous to look back on my list of romantic encounters [or lack thereof], dating experiences, and sexual escapades. I’ve had friends ask me why on earth would I want a record of that?! They look at me like I have three heads. Aren’t I worried someone would find the list?! If you find it, all the more power to you. Congratulations. You get a gold star! No, I’m not worried, and no, I do not have three heads. One day when I’m old and not gray [because I’ll be that old lady with a bad dye job], I’m going to look back at this time of my life and laugh. Because right now I’m a 20-something who has nothing to lose and everything to gain. Life is all about creating memories and I just happen to write mine down.

Ciao for now!

What Would James Bond Do?

james bond

What would James Bond do? That is the real question.

I recently went on a first date with a fella who lives his life by the motto WWJBD. At first I was a little confused… but intrigued. This confusion quickly turned into admiration. Here’s why ladies… [and gents].

Said fella picked a time and place for us to meet for our first date. Now, I know that seems so typical but let me tell you, it’s not. I have had a slew of first dates where the guy won’t make plans and leaves it all up to me. Big turn off. So this guy already earned a few brownie points in my book. Not only did he pick a place to meet, but he wanted to pick a place that was convenient for me, not for him. Such a sweet gesture, but naturally, I wanted to head into the city which he was perfectly fine with.

Fifteen minutes before out set meeting time, he let me know he was already there. I panicked… why? Well, that’s because that’s what I do. But he reassured me, that he got there early to make sure our table was ready, etc. He also asked what my favorite drink was. Wine, obviously.

I showed up [on time] and said fella pulled my chair out for me. Seriously. I don’t think a guy has ever done that for me. Not only that, but he had the waitress bring my a glass of my favorite wine as soon as I sat down… hence why he asked what my favorite drink was. No, I was not worried about rufies since the drink came straight from the waitress [in case YOU were worried].

Anyways… long story kinda short. This guy was a total gent. It was absolutely refreshing after all the bad/boring/sloppy/annoying dates I’ve had recently. I have to admit, I was absolutely dreading this date and was sooo close to cancelling. Luckily for me, my girlfriend convinced me to go because really, there was nothing to lose. I’m so happy that I went. Even if nothing comes from this date, it is nice to know that there are some gentleman out there. This one guy has restored [part] of my faith in men and love.

Okay, back to WWJBD. Said fella told me that he lives his life with that motto and that he believes every man should, as well. What would James Bond do? Well, he would definitely pull his date’s chair out for her, always pay for the date, and treat a lady like she deserves to be treated. Yes. Yes. And yes! JB would also be well dressed [don’t even get me started on my past dates’ wardrobe choices… ugh], well mannered, well versed, and be knowledgeable about current events.

This guy met all of these attributes. I was blown away. Like I said… I’ve had one too many disappointing dates so it wasn’t hard to impress me, but honestly, this guy was fantastic! He complimented me on my looks, even went as far as saying I looked better in person than in my pictures. Compliments can be overdone and can seem fake but he didn’t over do it which made me feel good. Not that I was feeling bad about myself… actually quite the opposite but it’s always a confidence booster when an attractive member of the opposite sex finds you attractive. Right? Right!

So to James Bond, thank you for being a role model to a handful of men out there. I know I will not be the last lady to appreciate this. To all the men out there, maybe this can be a lesson to you all. Be a gentleman. Be classy. Be respectful. Ladies love that.

Ciao for now!

Bachelor Inspired

bachelor

As I’m sitting here on my couch in my PJ’s with a glass of wine while watching The Bachelor by candle light [sounds so romantic!], I decided that now’s the time to start a blog.  I mean… why not? Right? I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. So thank you Juan Pablo. Not only do I appreciate how good looking you are [am I right ladies or am I right?!] but your quest for love has inspired me to document my own quest for love and the roller coaster ride that is my life.

This roller coaster consists of a lot of laughs, maybe a few tears, wine, good friends, good dates, some bad dates, but definitely unforgettable memories!

My lovely roommate just joined me with some fresh popped popcorn so ciao for now!